Today was a rainy 4th of July. Jude and I are sick. I talked to Jenn, this afternoon and she told me I sounded like I had smokers cough.. I don't smoke. That just tells you how awful I sound. Poor Jude is BACK on his nebulizer just to sleep through the night. I swear all someone has to do is sneeze around us and we are down for the count...
ANYWAY.... B-Rad was off today (woo-hoo!) and since the rain & germs ruined our 4th of July plans with our friends we decided to pack up the kids and head to Great Adventure - Wild Safari. The animals wouldn't mind if we were sick. The safari is is a drive-thru safari only 1 HOUR away from our house, a straight shot up the Turnpike. The animals are behind electric fences and low to the ground barb wire in designated open air, free range enclosures and some behind moats but from the car it looks as if they are only a few feet away. The lions & tigers are caged. They both have really big enclosures. Much like the zoo. The first time we went we were told that the monkeys jump on your car and fling poo.. NOT TRUE! They are no where near your car. I think that is a Philly urban legend... unless someone has a monkey poo story.. do share.
I drove and during the drive there everyone was napping (Including Brad) and as I was totally enjoying the silence, I missed the exit on the NJ Turnpike and didn't realize it until I started to see signs for Perth Amboy...Oops!
Anyone that knows me knows I boast about my EXCELLENT sense of direction. Where ever we go I can get us back to where we need to be, I am like Magellan. I rarely use my navigation system 1. due to the fact that I usually only travel 20 miles a week and 2. I grew up in the Philly burbs, I know my way around. Today was like no other. I had been there before I knew where I was going. Had "Matilda" (that is what we named our GPS voice)been guiding us the rest of this post would be much different, I am sure.
So... I realized I missed the exit. Shit! Shit! Brad wakes up, looks around and starts to smile. He knows I missed the exit. SHIT! If he only slept a few minutes more I could have gotten off at the next exit and jumped back on with no-one the wiser. No.. he wakes up just then and for the next 20 minutes I have to hear about how my "EXCELLENT" sense of direction failed and failed BIG. What was I going to tell Viv when she woke up and there were no tigers. Ugh!
With my co-pilot finally awake I turned around and arrived at Great Adventure at 4:07PM. The gates to the Safari close at 4PM on the dot! Not 4:01 or 4:03 and definitely not at 4:07. I begged and pleaded with the gate keeper. I told him it was Viv's birthday, I got lost, I admitted that I was an idiot for not planning the trip on my navigation. (To the gate keeper, that is certainly NOT to Brad.) Nope. He didn't budge. 4PM is 4PM! I did argue that the recording on the Great Adventure main # says the safari & water park closed at 5PM but he still wouldn't budge. Once I got home and looked online for the hours the website does say the safari closed at 4PM but, come on.. 4:07...? The recording said 5!
Rob the gate keeper is a big JACK ASS and I bet that being the gate keeper at Great Adventure is the highlight of his life. Stupid Rob, the gate keeper! See.. I come through with my I WILL BLOG ABOUT YOU threats... Rue the day Rob.. Rue the day!
Now, I am not poo-pooing the wild safari. We love to go there! I am just poo-pooing Rob the JACK ASS. I wish I took his picture. I would totally post it! If anyone goes and Rob is at the gate, roll your eyes and give him a dirty look for me... if you are feeling really bold flip him the bird or say.. hey your Rob the JACK ASS... say it quietly though.. don't want the little ones to repeat anything about Rob the JACK ASS..which depending on how old they were or how well they spoke might come out something about Jack's ass and leave people wondering why you were talking about "Jack's ass" and who was "Jack"? that WOULDN'T be good... That would be a whole new post...
The only good thing to come out of our miserable day is that we moved Viv's car seat to the rear row of my van so she could watch Nickelodeon & Disney Channel on Sirius Satellite TV. This worked out GREAT! Maybe it was the fact that she was watching TV in the car that made the blow of missing the safari easy to take. Thank You Chrysler!
8 comments:
Ah the Monkeys...
We went through in Ben's 1986 Mazda back in the day and yes, the monkey's did poo on the car. But that wasn't the worst part...we had monkey's sitting all over the car and one monkey was sitting on Ben's sideview mirror (driver's side) and all of a sudden, monkey and mirror where no longer on the car. We lost the mirror. It was no big loss since I believe Ben had bought that car for like 200 bucks but yes, the monkey's do poo and apparently take parts too!
Oh Sarah, I'm glad that even though you're made you are not boycotting the safari. I know how you love a boycott. Marc got made at the hotel guy tonight. Uh oh. Sorry you missed the safari, glad you've got tv in your car. That's totally cool,
You threatened to blog about him??? You are too funny!
Well I have no poo to blog about. Unlike so many moms out there but the monkeys did rip the antenna off my dads car back in the day. They would not get off teh car it was some what scary. I have not been back since not from fear just never have. The picture I get in my mid is of jurasic park movie everyone happy sitting in the cars and then...... LOL at least the monkeys are small enough. Glad to hear they are in cages now! maybe we can do a caravan and go to the safari my kjids would love it.
You are too funny, Sarah! Sorry to hear that your plans didn't work out! We've never been there but often talk about it...though now I think I am scared of the poo flinging, mirror stealing monkeys!
Hilarious!! This is my first time at your site and I could not stop laughing at your post!!
We drove through the safari about 8 years ago and there was a monkey section you could drive through but it was optional. We did drive through it and while there was no poop flinging they did break the antenna off of my husband's car. So they must have done away with that section.
I hope you guys feel better soon!
I'll tell ya, Wild safari or not, Just the nice ride in the car as a family is one of my ideal family fun adventures. I love taking random rides with everyone. We go get Ice Cream, go yard sale'n, go house hunting. It's wonderful!! Waste of gas, no doubt, but worth it in my eyes. We have some of our best family talks that way. I hope you all feel better soon.
Your too funny. It reminds me of the novie with Chevy Chase. Only you weren't going cross country. By the way if you want to come up to VT in the fall I am all for that not to mention my parents would be psyched.
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